An elevator elf that supplies useful daily gifts (“The Elevator Elf”). Literally stealing and returning an ex’s beating heart (“Three-Month Autopsy”). A ghost living in a woman’s fingernails and exacerbating her hypochondria (“My Fingernails Are Haunted”). James R. Gapinski’s The Museum of Future Mistakes is a collection of our-world-but-distinctly-more-surreal short stories that work hard to amuse and disgust. There’s also the titular museum where everyone has an alcove displaying artwork of their upcoming mistakes and a tree whose fruit is golden before the first bite and tar-like and spews bugs after (“Fruit Rot”). The premise of each story is the kind of bizarre “what would you do” scenario that would be excellent to ask someone at a party to find out whether they’re willing to commit to a bit.